OK, I Have Some Strong Feelings...

I just reread my first blog....OK, so I may have been overly sensitive about the whole weight thing. So, you have three to five to lose, that's OK. So you have hundreds to lose, that's OK too. We ALL need help from time to time, and if it's just a tad of help you need, yeah, I guess you can be part of the club too! The audience I was targeting with my initial comments were those who, like me, have an every day up hill fight to keep the weight under control. Those who have been "that" girl, the biggest one in class; "that" teen who others snickered at and made extremely rude comments about; "that" twenty something year old who had no job, no self esteem, no life, and seemingly no future.

In between those rough times I also lost fifty to seventy pounds, and later upwards of one hundred pounds at one time. I'd starve myself down to the picture of thin, which would bring on a happy me, as attention would come my way from the opposite sex, and my self esteem would be restored...life was wonderful! Then, I'd wake up one day and on that day realize, I was going to be getting back on the coaster and once again climbing that hill...and there was seemingly nothing I could do about it. If you've never had this happen to you I'm sure this sounds really strange. If you've ever been so out of control with your weight, and all you could do was to watch it climb, until a few short months later, you climb back on the scales only to see a seventy to one hundred pound gain, then you are "that" person I want to help.

How many times did this happen to me? Let me see, it's been quite a few years, but round figures...six times from my junior year in high school through my early twenties. I remember my senior year with such sadness as I entered in the fall, having just lost thirty to forty pounds, and feeling good at 140lbs. I graduated weighing just under 240lbs. A hundred pound gain in what was supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life. That was one of the toughest years of my young life. You may be thinking right now, "Wow this is one depressing blog! Does she ever gain control? Is she ever going to find a way to be in charge?" Yes indeed!! I found a way!! History is necessary though to make sure that if you are having these same struggles, you understand where I came from, maybe exactly where you are right now!