At this point, I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the patience and loving support of my husband. Chuck rode beside me, through every uphill climb on the weight coaster and back down on the other side. He had no idea the pain I lived with, (he comes from a naturally thin family where weight gain was never been an issue for him), and there was only one time in our twenty four years of marriage that he said something to me about my weight. Even though he did it with compassion and wearing kid gloves, I was honestly devastated! To have my true love, who I had married just a couple of years earlier, recognize my weight issue and ask me about it. I know there are so many mean, or more to the point vicious, spouses out there who love nothing more than to belittle and put down their husband or wife because they are over weight. I don't know if I could have survived that sort of a relationship, and would not be surprised if this issue is the beginning of the end for many couples.
Oh, to be loved unconditionally by those closest, without regard to one's outward looks. Trust me, I know that is a rarity and I literally thank God almost everyday of my life, for Chuck and how he has accepted me and loved me no matter what size I grew to be! If you are that significant other in a fat person's life, please please listen to what I am about to say. If you think that harassing and haranguing is your positive contribution to help that person lose the weight, think again! If you think that asking them if they really need that chocolate shake they are about to drink or pulling food away from them, for their own good, is your way of encouraging portion control, you could not be more wrong!!!
The very best things you can do is to listen to them; when they are discouraged about not only not being able to lose, but even to start a diet and stop offering them what you think to be helpful dieting tips or advice. If they don't ask, keep your mouth closed. Instead, go with them for a walk when they are ready, cheer them when they complete a tiny goal, like losing five or ten pounds. Finally, when they've lost it all, or are well on their way, be at the finish line as they complete their first sprint triathlon. Had Chuck given me the room and the time I needed to lose the weight at my pace, I would not have EVER competed in the sprint triathlon. All of the above are great motivators; belittling, punishing remarks and attitudes are all bad motivators, all the time.
So, thank you Chuck for being rock solid, full of encouragement and empathy even if you were scared to death that I was never going to lose all that weight, you have stood by me and always made me feel like that slim and trim bride who you walked down the isle all those years ago!
Please understand, I'm not talking about training a child in the way they should go; portion control, exercising and teaching your children how to live a healthy life style is your job, so take it seriously and do it from the time they are little ones! Take away the remotes, pump the tires up in their (and your) bikes and get outside!
